Dusty paper and dark shelves

So annoying.

A few hours ago I lost control again and bought a book even if my book tower and to-read-list is piling up at home. You should see my book tower, it’s about waist high and it’s the ultimate example of equality: all books, no matter how new, how old, how expensive are all sandwiched between each other in an expression of complete conformity with their owner. There is no discrimination in that pile. All of them are gathering dust, waiting to be covered in contact paper and read by me.

Anyway, back to my newly purchased book, wouldn’t you do the same if you saw a Dostoevsky marked down to P330? I was shocked, as in totally shocked. As majority of that shop’s customers prefer Coontz, King, Clancy, Grisham and other popular authors, I really think that the book Crime and Punishment was waiting for me to pick it up and brush away the dust, slowly inspecting it’s cover. It was waiting for me to turn it’s pages slowly, inspecting him for any damage then to tuck him under my arm and slowly make my way over to the counter. Yeah, it really happened that way. Seriously.

There were many good titles there, along with some more classics like Dickens and Homer and you wouldn’t think that inside that dark dreary shop (I will not reveal the name of the shop, you might descend down there in droves nyahahaha) you would find such treasures. You would think that I’m wasting my money, forsaking precious allowance for books but it’s my vice. I’ve given up smoking and alcohol as my vices and devote my money to more…. Uhmm… “worthwhile” things (Miss E you know what I mean haha).

So now, my reading list expands to Murakami, Chandler, Clarke, Eco, Kafka, Dick, Herbert, Golding, Palahniuk, MacLeod and the latest addition, Dostoevsky. Now you are asking: “How will he read those, with all the school things he have to do?” My answer: I don’t know. I’ll manage, hopefully.

God is dead

The statement “Gott ist tot/God is dead” does not mean the physical destruction or the ideological death of God but it simply means that when one gives up Christian morals, one also gives up the Christian ideology and in that effect, one “kills” god.

Even if one still believes in the existence of the Christian god, one can still kill god.

-Kelvin, on Nietzsche

Bluntly, like a sledgehammer

Imagine this situation: a woman around 40 years of age who looks like your average cigarette vendor gets on the bus you are currently in and when the conductor goes around collecting the fare, the woman then looks straight into the conductor’s face and flatly tells him that she has no money. Upon hearing this, the conductor threatens the woman that she get off the bus already (the bus is currently humming along the SLEX) but this turns out to be an empty threat as the woman is left alone. A kind hearted office woman gives cigarette vendor woman money for the fare but she merely pocketed it and did not pay.

If you really took the time to imagine this scene then you would’ve gotten a rough idea on what I have seen a few days ago. Now that we’ve taken up this topic, what problem do we see here guys?

The problem here is that the poor, oh sorry gotta be politically correct here, the marginalized, seem to think that their situation, poverty, grants them special privileges. They seem to think they can get away with everything just because they are poor. They appeal to the people’s pity and do illegal things, saying that it was brought upon by inescapable circumstances and should have been done.

Ok, so you’ve proven your point. You are poor. You have no money. You have to be pitied. But do you have to wear this on your sleeve and do nothing about it? Are you contented with your situation and think that because of this situation you are in, you have the right to live on other people’s money? Yes, you could receive help from more fortunate persons but it’s only for alleviation of your suffering. Holding out your hand and begging for alms is not enough. You have to do something for yourself and get out of poverty. Poverty does not grant you special privileges but special responsibilities.

You might think that I’ve no pity for them at all but let’s use our cold, hard logic. Make a list (or if you want it could be a mental list) of the nuisances you would have to put up with because of them. Think of all the news reports about the marginalized (make sure to include here pollution, thievery, riots and vote buying). I did this and putting it bluntly, I concluded that they’re an eyesore and they do all sorts of things that we would have to put up with. A good example is the system loss charge that MERALCO charges, included here are stolen electricity by jumper wires all over the country. And who uses jumper wires? The marginalized people.

But please, don’t interpret my message in any other way that I want you to interpret it. I don’t hate the poor. Sure, they’re an eyesore but some of them are really struggling for their lives and deserve to be commended at the highest pedestals but think about those rotten poor, those people who don’t care and think they can do anything just because they are poor. They have always lived with the idea that they should be pitied and this must change. They are not to be looked down upon and be looked as persons of equal footing with everybody. They must be given the same opportunities and benefits as everybody, and with the same punishments that everybody gets when they commit illegal acts.

But hey, something just hit me on the head; think about it, if there are rotten poor there are also the rotten rich. And they are worse for they have the money and occupy the highest seats in the land, not only in the government but in the business sectors too. Either end of the spectrum you are on, rich or poor, your status must not grant you special privileges but special responsibilities.

(When the author wrote this he was in a terrible mood. He did not wish to show this to anybody because this would make him seem heartless and cold but he really is an affectionate person. Actually he loves coffee, photographs and his mother very much. That piece of useless information aside, he posted this only because he wanted you to read this. He just felt like playing the devil’s advocate today. But don’t get him wrong, he thinks highly of these people. It’s rotten rich people he hates. Haha.)

some people never change

It was the first time I sat through a whole class again in my block and damn, it's still the same.

The people (although some never came back from vacation, haha), the atmosphere and of course, can I forget the noise? It's like returning from a construction site where a hundred jackhammers were operating at the same time and you get this annoying ringing in the ears. The only difference in class is that the ringing never stops. Even though you close your eyes and imagine nirvana with the object of your desire, the noise eventually will break through your fantasy and park his/her annoying ass there, refusing to budge. Depressing, but that's the way it is.

Maybe it's because I came back bearing a different perspective on things, spending half the vacation looking through Hildegaard’s (my slr) viewfinder and reading extensively on the subject of… uhmmm…. social dynamics. But even if you view some people from a different perspective, nothing new arises (imagine viewing a smooth sphere from all sides and you will get what I mean). Blame simplicity. Blame everything that has put simplicity, pattern and lack of preference (which makes it easier to force choices upon people) on a pedestal and proclaimed it best, that proclaimed it suitable for everybody and should be followed. Blame capitalism. Because simplicity makes people easier to predict, simplicity sells.

But I won’t give up. Maybe at some perspectives the people will change and while waiting for that to happen I’ll be watching from my imaginary nirvana with my bethroted

Ah, vacation

Finally, natapos din ang vacation. Sobrang pagod, ang daming hassle sa sched.
Nag subok akong mag apply at pumasok sa OJT ngunit di ko tinuloy, kumuha ng tutor job (well that makes me Han-eul from my tutor friend, kasi tutor ako at kaibigan mo ako. di mo gets to kung di ka koreanovela geek), nagtimpla ng kape (ako din ang umiinom nito), nagpunta sa kung saan saan, sumama kung kani-kanino at nag engage sa aking mga trivial pursuits.
Puro deadline, work, gala and other shite that I would and must call as socializing.
Ang daming activities, to the highest heavens. As in.

At dahil pasukan na ulit, the real vacation can now begin.
Finally.

all emos assemble

laro daw kayo ng agawan blade sabi ni Rodgie. ang mananalo ay magkakaron ng giant gillette blade courtesy of aprille.

do us a favor and kill yourselves already. haha. ^_^

no offense for casual emos, this is for extremist emos. peace. haha
(making the peace sign with his fingers while running to the nearest bomb shelter)

Life in the Philippines is a very long Kafka novel

Naalala ko yung post nung isa kong kaibigan, sabi niya ay di raw makatarungan ang pagpapaalis sa mga illegal residents o mga squatter sa riles ng tren doon sa me Makati. Di naman ako makapalag, dahil may punto nga siya. Ngunit tingnan nga natin, bakit nga ba sila nandoon?

Maaring inakala nila na nandito sa Maynila ang pag-asa at karangyaan. Oo, maari nga, lalo na kapag mahilig kang manood ng lumang palabas sa sine, lahat sila sinasabi na ang pag-asa ay nasa Maynila. Ngunit wala na sa Maynila ang pag-asa. Ito ay nasa ibang bansa na.

Nako, nag-digress nanaman ako. Kapag bumalik tayo sa orihinal na paksa ay makikita natin na isa pang rason ay di developed ang mga rural area ng ating mahal na bansa *dies*. Maaring naiingit sila o kaya gusto nila na makamit ang de-kalidad na edukasyon.

Pero, that is simply beside the point. Wala tayong pakialam sa rason nila kung bakit sila nandito sa Maynila. Dapat ba andun sila sa gilid ng riles ng tren in the first place? Dapat ba silang magtiis sa pamumuhay ng siksikan? Dapat ba silang magbukas pa ng radio tuwing magtatalik sila (oo, nangyayari to) para lamang maitago ang kanilang hiya at puri? Reklamo sila ng reklamo ngunit wala naman silang magawa para sa sarili nila. Sarili nilang kamay ang sumulat sa kapalaran nila.

Minsan na kong nag-offer ng solusyon sa problema nila. Tanggalin ang Maynila bilang sentro ng lahat ng bagay at ilipat ito sa mga lungsod sa probinsiya tulad ng Lucena, Davao, Cebu etc etc. Pagandahin ang mga rural areas ng ‘Pinas at ilipat ang studio ng ABS-CBN sa liblib na lugar. Kung hindi puede, kahit ‘yung studio lang ng Wowowee. Leche kasi si Willie (joke lang willie. Alam mo namang sinungaling ako). Pero kahit ano man ang maisip ko (o nang kahit na sino siguro!), wala na sigurong mas gaganda pa sa paborito kong solusyon na narinig ko kay Themiton. Kapag naging presidente daw siya, ipapapatay niya daw lahat ng nasa ilalim ng poverty line. Mamamatay din naman daw sila. Maganda nga naman kasi it’s killing two birds with one stone. Yung bird ng mga mahihirap at bird ng population problem ng ‘Pinas.

Akyatin na rin natin ang bundok ng “in the first place” na problema ng ‘Pinas. Isa na rito ay ang mga pulis natin. Ang galing diba? Napapabalita na yung mga tapat at di nangongotong na pulis ngayon. Pero in the first place, dapat ba silang gumagawa nun? Diba dapat naman ay tapat ang mga pulis? Kaya it’s nothing to be proud of kung isa kang matapat na pulis. Ginagawa mo lang ang trabaho mo. Bakit mo kelangan ng award? Ah, oo. Kasi kokonti nalang kayo.

Eto pa. Yung mga taxi driver na nagbabalik ng pera o kaya gamit na naiwan ng mga pasahero. Kadalasan ay tuwang tuwa ang mga may-ari ng mga nawawalang gamit na ito diba? At ang laking isyu kapag may taxi driver na nagbalik ng gamit. Sa ‘Pinas lang ganyan kasi sa ibang bansa, lalo na sa Japan, regular na balita (o minsan di pa sinasama sa balita) kapag may nagbabalik ng mga gamit na naiwan o nalaglag sa kalsada. Ito ay dahil madaming matapat na tao doon o madalas na nangyayari ang mga bagay na iyon. Ewan ko lang kung bakit napakalaking isyu sa ‘Pinas ang bagay na iyan. Hindi ba tama lamang na magbalik ng bagay na hindi iyo? Bakit ka pupurihin sa paggawa ng mga bagay na dapat mo naman talagang ginagawa?

Madami pa ang mga ito kaya lang di pa sila sumasagi sa ulo ko. Pero wow, sobrang surreal ng mahal kong ‘Pinas. Nagtataka nga ako, baka nandito nagiintersect ang dalawang horizontal planes ng isang dimension na mas kakaiba kaysa sa atin kaya madaming nangyayari na kababalaghan dito. O kaya nagkaroon ng punit sa dimensional fabric at nagkaroon ng interdimensional space warp (sorry, my imagination is on overderive) na ginagawang lagusan ng mga tiga-ibang mundo para obserbahan ang ugali at mundo ng mga tao. Come to think of it, tsismoso ang mga pinoy diba? At madami sa atin ang baliw (oo isa ako doon)? Hindi siguro malayo sa katotohanan na ang iba sa atin ay tiga ibang planeta. O tiga ibang dimensiyon. Lahat kasi ay maaring mangyari sa ‘Pinas. Lahat posible. Pero hindi lang naman mga kakaibang bagay ang possible dito. Posible din ang mga magagandang bagay dito na hindi maaring mangyari sa ibang mga lugar sa mundo.

Sabi nga ni Jessica Zafra, what other nations call “magical realism” we Filipinos call “reality”. Ganito na siguro talaga ang realidad sa mahal kong ‘Pinas. Parang pantasya na fairy tale na minsan isang horror movie.

Pero kahit anong mangyari, mahal ko ito. Bilang Pilipino, magiging boring ang pamumuhay sa ibang bansa dahil compared to the Philippines it’s more lively, more colorful, more riotous, more chaotic, lovelier, more romantic and very much more surreal here at home. Mahal ko itong dimensiyon na ito!