Ah, Technology... That's the rub.

Imagine a life without electricity.

Of course, this would be unimaginable to the youth who have came to depend on the technology that is propelled by it but we could get a very detailed account of it by our elders. And so my ranting begins...

Even three days of not having electricity elicits boredom in many of us that we have forgotten the many delights we can observe when the lights go out and everything goes black for some things can only be seen clearly in the absence of all other things. The stars, the cold dew of early morning sunshine. The long walks at night with no direction, the observation of various people on how they cope up with the power loss and just thinking what it means to be alive without the distraction of t.v, radios, mp3 players, cell phones and all the temporary joys that technology gives us.

We also gain an insight with the many things that we have forgone since the advent of modern entertainment. The time that have been usually set by our elders as telenovela time have been devoted to family time, talking about the various experiences they have experienced when there were still no electricity around.

I also learned to meditate quietly infront of a candle and stare at the flame for an hour. I just focuse on my pulse, the silent beating of my heart, my breathing and just to cast my mind around and contemplate the various problems of the world. In this, I have again formulated another prophecy, that this society will eventually lead to the destruction of all because of overconvenience brought by technology. We can liken it to the Greco-Roman Empire's fate, but this is not the time to talk about that.

Nature's fury have also destroyed much of man-made structures and I have personally felt it's fury. Mat it serve as a reminder to us all that we are all puny creatures in it's eyes and we may do as well to serve it because it could wipe us all off it's face in a matter of days.

IT HAS SPOKEN. COWER INFRONT OF IT FOR YOU WILL DIE(your soul is mine!)

Random Observations Pt.1

1. Why do people on concerts of so-called boy bands (cueshet, spongecola, hale etc...) prefer to comment on the superficial aspects of the vocalists? All I hear is "ay gwapo!" or sickly renditions of kilig instances performed by girls with a nasty psychological imbalances.

2. I so lazy when it comes to updating my blogs. I write a lot and most of it on rough brown paper I usually find around the house. There is quite a backlog of written reflections and I can't find the time to type it. If only I could directly type it while thinking of what to say... if only I had more time...

3. Why do people tend towards the mass, striving for commonality? Will they die if they become distinct from their herd? Why? Why?

4. I can't believe there are people who actually put form over substance and they apply this principle even in the judgement of other people. The only explanation I can think of is that they have watched too much television commercials.

5. Six years of elementary education, four years of High school education and another 4 years (variable) of college does not prepare you for the real world, even in the basics. What you need to do is to experience real life in advance so that you will not have a sudden realization that the world is flat and you will fall off the edge if you don't conform, rather you will become accustomed to this fact slowly as you make your way through lower education. Believe me, I'm doing this right now.

A return to what once was

I am suffering from an emotional breakdown. The things I have vehemently scorned in the past few years are slowly being injected to my mind, gaining recognition and a place in there.
I had stuffed the void in myself with whatever diversions on which I could distract myself from seeing the chasm in it but after finding what I was looking for, what was once a joy for me was passed off for an empty and temporary bliss. I would hate to say it, but I have fallen into that deep pit called infatuation.

For others, it is a happy experience but to me, who detests all it's corrupted forms, is horrified. I have criticized it and many have agreed with my views but I myself feel these feelings? Shit!
Owing to the fact that I have no luck with girls, and if ever they do like me, I keep distancing away for I fear that if they knew the true me, they would reject me and my life would become indifferent again, never caring if I live to see the next twilight or dying. One could conclude that when the fear of rejection is great that it exceeds the desire for love, then it is better not to love at all.

But I don't want to be like this forever. I want to break free. I want to finally liberate whatever is bursting out from this heart. I want to feel that I am actually alive for my whole life, not just those fleeting moments when I'm stoned or something.

You don't understand do you? Me too.

Conversations on the boundaries of dreams and reality

"You know, it's funny on how we humans always consume ourselves on trivialities that at that time seemed correct for it gave a fleeting glimpse of joy but when you look back, all you can do is to hit yourself in the head with a mallet because you acted like an idiot and wasted time." She took a deep puff from her cigarette and blew it into the blue sky.

"Like this trivial meeting between two friends?" I asked

"I don't know. But we'll see..." she said, looking off into the distance. "But talking with you seems to lessen the load on my back, I feel that I want to stay like this forever."
"No, don't be like that. Don't stop fighting, it'll eventually calm down and you'll experience sublime bliss..." I replied.

"Oh, so you are the great invincible great mutant that you are again?" She blurted out, laughing hysterically. She then lighted another cigarette. She always chain-smokes when she's depressed.

"But you know, no being in this earth has ever lived without pain. Be it physical or spiritual pain, we all experience it." I looked at her. "It is mankind's greatest weakness, and strength."

"Oh shit, here comes the existentialism shit.." She cursed. Then she smiled at me. "I like that in you."

Mao Zedong Guerilla Tactics

The enemy advances; we retreat. The enemy camps; we harass. The enemy tires; we attack. The enemy retreats; we pursue!

This is the tactic we shall use. Like the great Mao Zedong, we shall crush pur opposition like ants as they crawl across the world we have claimed to be ours. We shall eliminate them and take the dignity they have the illusion of having but we will only reclaim it to make it formal.
We shall wait in the darkness, waiting for the moment of their weakness and when they show their weakness as a "bait" to others to let them take care of them, then we shall document it faithfully.
The world today is so stupid, that they show the image that they are weak as a plea for sympathy to others. They riducule those who demonstrate their superiority for they perceive this as show-offs. Fools.

We shall lie in passivity. If they do not harm us, then we will not do anything. If ever they should inflict us damage, either real or imaginary, then we shall strike back with such a fury that they shall cower at the sight of armageddon. I am a fire sign, aries and I deal with stress and danger through SELF-IMMOLATION. I shall destroy myself and sacrifice for the better good and through my destruction, I shall again be reborn from the ashes, still scarred and bruised, but with the new fire which burns ardently in my soul.

We shall rise again and take back the dignity they have taken from us! Remember this Oh Loyal Followers! Take heed! Take heed!

Catalysts to one's creativity

First of all, one of the things that inspire me to churn out these words is the annoying but welcome bursts of sudden revelations. These instances usually happen when I'm walking, watching TV, listening to the radio, drinking coffee or just sitting around, doing nothing. It is not a pretty sight because I suddenly become a raving lunatic, speaking so fast that the words that come out of my mouth is faster than the rate that my memory can handle so I always try to have some paper on hand so I can record these. It's a literary technique called stream of consciousness.

Another thing is the infuriating events that happen around me, or to those people close to me. Sometimes, I just don't know how they end up in my writing; it's like an idea constantly nagging at my brain, begging to be set free. I just feel the need that some people should sympathize with my situation, much less to actually solve the problem I'm talking about.

Why, you may ask? Because I am a perpetual stranger to those who wouldn't want to know for I resent them for being so much like the others. Because they aspire to be like the one ideal image of beauty or machismo, they lose their identity and become known as a generalization, no individualization. They might know my name and my general disposition but that is all they will ever know.

Therefore, one may conclude that rage fills every corner of this journal. It is the fire which burns in the mind of the author.

The rage helps me know that I am still sane because I still want to change the situation and I have not yet grown numb to all this shit.

Coffee, dried leaves and certain types of persons also count as catalysts but when I sit down and actually poise the pen over the paper, it all comes to my uncontrollable and insane imagination. It doesn't take me long to conjure up scenarios and theories to explain something but at time it gets out of control (but paranoia and self-consciousness are some negative side-effects).

But what is so amazing is that some of the people I superficially know actually resent and isolate me because I think this way. Why? Do they feel that one should deal with cold, hard facts and never surrender to the irrationality of dreams? Do they believe that people like them who worship cycle, that surrender to the crushing weight of society for conformity, regulation and sick order are better than us?

Well if my ideals are sins to them, for me they are the strength within, then I shall stay a sinner! To these people who isolate me, you better think again.

I'm gonna bludgeon you with my pen.

Is Ignorance Bliss? Or is Bliss Ignorance?

How I wish that I would be ignorant once again to the mediocrity that plagues this world. How I wish sometimes that I would be again a simple person that I once was, who never bothered himself with the trivial pursuits that I consume myself today. Sometimes, I wonder on what would've happened if I let myself carried by the current and be swept away in a different world than the one where I am today.

But I shudder to think what could've happened when I see myself with the group of people expected to be my friends if I had stayed sane. It's because I think their ideologies and principles are garbage.
Plain, uninteresting garbage.

But then again, I must be suffering from an overly paranoid mind, from my out of control imagination.

You underestimate me...

To the person who wrote those words on the cover of my book, I will recommend that you keep your identity unknown to me for you will wish that you have never known me.

Wait. I'm angry again. Why you ask?

Yeah. Because I recently used the cover of my workbook as a record of my creative outbursts. It's because sometimes I get an idea so entertaining that I need to write it, no matter what because it is only a fleeting image. I can't even remember it for an hour because it is so sublime, my simple mind can't hold it in itself for a prolonged period of time.

Anyway, I wrote on it an essay and the lyrics of art of life which is very long, thirty-four minutes to be exact. And then came along this vandal. He/she-- wait. I'm not even using the correct term. The vandal is not deserving to be recognized as a true and formidable adversary so I shall call the vandal "it".Again, It wrote on the cover of my book words like "tae", "shit", "cow shit" and some more childish insults and these insults probably reflected the state of his brain - shit.

Why am I so angry? It was because he dared criticize things that he did not even know, or even cared. He did not even stop to appreciate the talent of x-japan that went into the making of that song. But in the end, I feel appreciated in a weird sort of way because by proving their stupidity and ignorance, they are distancing themselves from me and therefore, spares me the pain of going down to their level of thinking. They are proclaiming that I am different from them and therefore should be rendered an outcast and it actually helps my cause; it's an insult to be compared to the likes of them. I also feel a kind of joy from doing what I want without thinking what others think of my actions. I live the life that I want to live and I have the right to. If you don't like it, stay away.

If you are the one who wrote those words on the back of my book thank you. You gave me the opportunity to insult you: Fuck you. I hope you live an increasingly insipid, tasteless, and a painfully drawn-out life.

Anybody who fires up tommorow will be decapitated. With a pen.

Be wary, my Loyal Followers, for the realization of our purpose is in sight!

Why are you silent now? Why have you stopped publicly showing off your alleged "cool" behavior? Why have you kept in a corner now while just sometime ago you were shouting and thought that other people were oblivious to the fact on that thing you were doing. Have you finally realized the futility of your actions? Have you finally felt the hate and anger that was emanating from my very soul? You talk to me now, expecting me to talk back, would you think I am not stupid not to notice? You undermine me, Oh Inferior One. You may have resolved to be more sociable to me but I know that you continue to do whatever is it you do when you are all alone with your group. But that wouldn't change anything for I am antisocial by nature.

Take heed my faithful servants, my loyal followers. Be wary of the trumpet's call and when the time comes to sound it, we will crush them under the soles of our feet. We will let them know the suffering that they have frantically escaped for every moment in their life. We will forcefully introduce to them the true meaning of pain not just their so called "pain" like eyestrain from too much crying for the characters of some insipid movie or being dumped by some guy fortunate enough not to make the mistake of being with them.

They have oppressed us for too long, the time is nearing for our violent revolt. Never believe in their false promises of friendship, never take the hand that will soon curl into a fist the moment that you do something that causes them displeasure. They have already betrayed us once, never fall for it again. Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.

We have been together for so long and shared the same sentiments, never give up now! Do not forget the innumerable bottles of liquor that we have mulled this matter over. Never forget the endless scheming that consumed us until the day that it will be all realized. We are in sight of our goal and we have sacrificed too much for us to give up now.

Therefore, as the most humble leader of our school of thought which I shall call the "Neo-Armageddon Evangelists", we will chain these infidels and make them toil under the sun of our Most Glorious Empire. But as recognition to their efforts, the most prominent ones shall be subjected to "special treatment". I therefore appoint The Beastfighter to feed and bathe my dog regularly. It is called Cerberus, which gives you an idea on how docile and cute this little dog is. I appoint The Fat Bastard Who Is Not Fat But I'll Call Him Anyways as my Royal Dishwasher and Royal Custodian to wash the dishes and clean the bathroom of my most loyal servants. He will not clean my Royal Residence for I like to do my own housekeeping. And as for him Who Does Not Deserve My Mercy, I will appoint him as my Royal Emissary. It means that I will send him off to countries that oppose my will and if the need arises, they may use him for some much needed target practice.

Read the signs, my faithful followers, read the signs! For they will provide you with insights that no one can ever give you for it is an idea that is conceived by yourself and for yourself. They will provide you with the courses of action to stop this abomination that is filling up the minds of the ignorant and the drifters today. Learn to close your minds against these unfruitful impulses, for in tolerance and pain we shall grow stronger. Never show signs on the feelings of hatred and anger so that when we finally rise out from the shadows and strike, we shall completely take them by surprise. When we strike, they will be taken in by awe of our Most Marvelous and Machiavellian stratagem that they pretended to know and understand at first then abandoned in other useless pursuits.

Take heed faithful followers, take heed. The time is near. It's nearer than you think.