Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Kübler-Ross model

The Kübler-Ross model first introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying", describes, in five discrete stages, a process by which people allegedly deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness. The stages are known as the Five Stages of Grief.

The stages are:

1. Denial:
* Example - "No, this cannot be happening! She's not leaving, she just has some issues"

2. Anger:
* Example - "Why me? It's not fair! Everything I have done for her and now this??!"

3. Bargaining:
* Example - "Please, I'd do anything, just tell me, what's the matter? Why him, not me?"

4. Depression:
* Example - "What's the point of everything? When she left, it has, and always have been the end."

5. Acceptance:
* Example - "It's going to be OK. It might be the end, but I can start all over again with someplace new, some one new. I'm fine."


Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one, divorce, drug addiction, or infertility. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in the order noted above, nor are all steps experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.

Others have noticed that any significant personal change can elicit these stages. For example, experienced criminal defense attorneys are aware that defendants who are facing stiff sentences, yet have no defenses or mitigating factors to lessen their sentences, often experience the stages. Accordingly, they must get to the acceptance stage before they are prepared to plead guilty.

Additionally, the change in circumstances does not always have to be a negative one, just significant enough to cause a grief response to the loss (Scire, 2007). Accepting a new work position, for example, causes one to lose their routine, workplace friendships, familiar drive to work, or even customary lunch sources.

The most common factor is when the person doesn't have the capacity to change their situation, at least not without considerable loss to themselves, thus a person who would go through these stages would not need to continue if they found a way out of the situation: e.g., If a person losing their house was at the bargaining stage but then somehow found a way out of the situation, then they'd have no reason to become depressed. So the 'stages of grief' could be linked to a lack of control or ability, e.g., people who have lost limbs, people on the bad end of an ultimatum, people under threat, and so on.


I have moved from denial to anger, bargaining to acceptance. It has been a rough, complicated and yet purposeful journey with you two.
Goodbye, and may this serve as the final nail in the coffin of your memories.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Learnings from The Eternity You Desire

1. Hell is other people. If there's no such thing as farewell, we would just annoy each other. Therefore,

2. Farewell is relief. Separation is inevitable and a good relationship is a cycle of hellos and goodbyes, with each changing slightly in order not to stagnate

3. Being a family is about different people who've walked different paths heading towards the same place together.

4. If you're meeting your date, make sure she waits indoors where there is no danger of her getting hit by a car.

5. Don't speak when you've nothing to say.

6. Learn to give up. Giving up is not cowardice. There is honor in defeat and walking away is a test of courage.

7. Being too kind is cruel.

8. You must live in the same time as everyone or you will get left behind

9. When you refuse to confront your own emotions, you will be unable to recognize it.

10. The punishment for deserting allies under enemy fire is death!

P.S. Black lace is soooo sexy.

The Eternity You Desire (Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien) is highly recommended and is aimed straight at your tearducts. An anime with just the right drama and the restraint to go with it. Interesting storyline. Watch it. Cheers.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

In. Your. Face.

Natawa ako sa napaka ikling palitan ng salita ng isang pasahero sa bus kanina at isang self-righteous preacher na nagsasalita sa bus, para ikalat ang mabuting balita ng kanilang diyos. Ganito ang nangyari:

Preacher: Ikaw kapatid, naniniwala ka ba sa Diyos?
Pasahero: Hindi ako naniniwala sa iyo.

Pucha. Laughtrip sa bus. Pinagtinginan kaming dalawa nung mga ibang pasahero. Kung malapit lang ako dun sa pasaherong kausap nung preacher ay nag apir kami.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Time (or lack of it)

As we shall see, the concept of time had no meaning before the universe. This was first pointed out by St. Augustine. When asked: "What did God do before He created the universe?"
Augustine didn't reply: "He was preparing Hell for people who asked such questions". Instead, he said that time was a property of the universe that God created, and that time did not exist before the beginning of the universe.

-Stephen Hawking, A Brief History Of Time

Dumating na ang visa. Sisimulan ko na ang pamamaalam.

Biyaheng Quezon Ave - Muntinlupa

Kelvin: Hon (Oo, ganito tawag ko sa kanya), tabingi yung bus.
Hon: Hindi tabingi cookie (At oo, ganito tawag niya sa akin), baka ikaw, tabingi lang yung upo mo.
Cookie (ako to): ...
Hon: ...
Cookie: Hindi ka ba nakasandal sa akin?
Hon: ...
Cookie: ... Huy
Hon: Hindi.
Cookie: Sigurado ka?
Hon: Hindi nga eh. Leche.

makalipas ang limang minuto (ayon kay ted)

Cookie: Iba yung feeling, talagang tabingi talaga yung bus.
Hon: Baka kasi lumiko lang siya (yung bus) tapos dahil me centrigugal force, nag swing ngayon yung weight nung bus away from the center of the curve. cookie simple physics lang, kala ko ba matalino ka!
Cookie: ...
Hon: ...
Cookie: shet, nasa EDSA tayo, me curves ba ang edsa?
Hon: nasa EDSA tayo???!
Cookie: Matulog ka na muna hon.

Natawa ako, sinulat pala ni ted yung usapan namin. Kahit ako kasi di ko matandaan dahil nasa cloud nine kami ni hon nung gabing iyon.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Malling is not for me

Pumasok si Kelvin sa Mall of Asia.

"Tara, pasok tayo sa starbucks at magkape tayo habang niloloko natin ang ating mga sarili na wala tayo sa isang third world country!"

-Kelvin, on Starbucks

"Tara, bili tayo ng havaianas at magilusyon na di tayo nakaapak sa third world soil sa third world country!"
-Kelvin, on Havaianas:

"Tara..."
-Kelvin, on Alcohol