Another year passes like a fleetingly permanent memory

As the year is coming to an end and people are already clamoring over the pre-apocalyptic prophecies and the forecasts of supposedly self proclaimed prominent showbiz personalities (which are almost the same), we feel the need to look back the past year and relive forcefully the joys, the regrets, the depression and the lessons we had learned so that we would not repeat that damned last year’s mistakes and carry over whatever needs to be carried over to the next year.

In accordance to this, I feel that a summarization of the past year would be most proper. Why? Because I said so you pathetic excuse for a human being (haha. Actually no one reading my journal can be considered a pathetic excuse for a human being. There you have it, a compliment for those few who are avid readers of this journal.)

January last year entered with a big blah. Nothing special had happened and no big expectations were made on the year to come. Smoke had also begun to clear on the issue of that pathetic someone I had expressed my delusions of grandeur to. It became clear to me that she must be amputated permanently from my life. Another person which I had expressed my liking to had declined ever so gracefully, using that classic “kapatid-lang-ang-tingin-ko-sayo” dismissal approach. Well, she actually termed it as an elder brother, as I was rather experiencing rapid mental ageing which is very usual for geeks/nerds (haha) at my age. But I don't hate her, actually I still like her for being so kind to me.

February. Yes, that damned month February. This month was an insignificant month for me, basically for the simple fact that I am single and would not settle to those persons available.

March then entered with the annoying but absolutely necessary year-end exams. We skip the unsavory details and jump to March 28, my birth date. Did nothing special, just had a few beers with my friend renel talking about the momentous moment of adding another year to my existence.

April-May was vacation time, a period I really hate. I hate staying at home with virtually no income and vast amounts of time with nothing to do, which is the direct opposite of the rest of the year, which is composed of vast amounts of work compressed into so little time. I enrolled in a cellphone repair course hoping that I would actually learn something but it failed as my classmates are constantly offering me drugs and persuading me to go drinking with them. I thought I was gonna die in this month. Seriously.

June was like resurrection for me, I would start going to school again and see my friends again. We also got our DSL internet connection this month and I consider it important because yes! I finally could watch streaming movies and download stuff!

July? Had no significant memories of this month other than joining the UST mountaineering club. Basically I spent the whole month adjusting to my new blockmates.

In August we had our first training climb at Mt. Talamitam in batangas in the UST mountaineering club. I also became acquainted with my fellow applicants. In it I felt like a whole new avenue of opportunities had opened up. August of 2007 was a fruitful month.

Do you remember? The 21^st night of September? Well good, because I don’t. Haha, this is a song but actually I don’t remember anything worth noting from this month. We then continue to October, which was marked by my two-week “sabbatical” where I arrived at UST late for my first class and ended up going to no class at all (and I did not play DOTA). It’s just that I was questioning the weight of the lessons the professors were teaching (if there was any) to us. I also felt suffocated from the environment that my blockmates were presenting and apparently it’s not conducive to my learning. Maybe to them it’s conducive but to me, IT IS NOT conducive.

November is a very significant month, as I spent October 27 to early November watching koreanovelas. My family left me all alone to go to the province for a bit of relaxation and me, being a person of solitary interests, also had relaxation being all alone on the house for a week. In that week, the pc was on for abput 18 hours a day and I spent the hours watching emotionally manipulative (aaaargh!) movies. Naturally, I was depressed because I had no one to cling to while watching these movies. Also, I had recognized the advantages of adopting an alternate body clock which involves getting up at 3pm and retiring at around 4am. I almost sprouted fangs, mind you. Towards the end of this month, I discovered the many joys of wall climbing.

December was a an eventful year. I climbed, with my fellow USTMC members, Tarak ridge at Mt. Mariveles in Bataan. I also entered a speedclimbing contest I knew that I would not win when a competitor clocked at 3.9 seconds in a wall it took me 11 seconds to climb. In this event, I also encountered an old acquaintance of mine, Jaime and I take this moment to apologize for my drunken conversation with her (actually it was not a conversation, it was a monologue for talking to myself would gather many strange comments from others).

My promise to myself 2 years ago was that the next time I would watch the next fireworks display at UST I should have my arm around my significant other and damn the big question is when it will be fulfilled. So I thought I would spend the paskuhan night in perfect misery. Thankfully, someone gave me an unexpected gift and saved me from perfect misery.

A few days after, we had our USTMC Christmas party and I made an absolute ass of myself. I won’t go into the details but I reaffirmed my resolve never to drink and converse. Never drink and converse, especially when someone of that stature and significance is present. But aside from the events this december, christmas is still dead. Capitalism killed it and the only one who could give life to it is the Grinch. Think about it.

So, with that lengthy summarization I can say that this was a good year and certainly better than the last. With the failed coup and impeachment attempts, ZTE scandal and the prospect of falling off the side of a mountain, it was certainly, uhmm, exciting. This year is just an overture. You better wait for a better year ender entry next year.

(This entry, incidentally, is also the longest entry I’ve written since that 6-month writer’s laziness. I will begin writing again. Promise.)

Christmas died.

Wednesday, exactly a week before this moment. I was wearing black shoes, black slacks, black polo with matching black bag to complete my funeral attire.
Why? It was the annual paskuhan at UST and I really was in no mood for the usual christmas shit that everybody panders to me.

I didn't like to go, but hell, it gave me something to write about.

Thankfully this christmas season is over and I don't have to write the rest of this damned post.

a rien particulier

"If two dots get closer they die. But if they get too far apart, they're drawn closer."

"Huh... What's it for?"

"A miniature model of our world. But unfortunately, only the grad student who programmed it understands it."

"Ah."

"I wouldn't suggest staring at it too long."
-a conversation from Kairo.

haha. now that's extreme pessimism. and a vicious circle.

Fast, Subtle And Piercing (hey, i'm talking to myself again!)

We did not know that this was gonna happen.

Don't tell me you expected this but the effort you were channeling towards them was misguided, and through it, elicited a different reaction. Not from the particle you were expecting to react, but a totally different one.

The first particle, given x mass at b speed when given quantities of gamma rays will then proceed to affect a second particle, with both the speed and mass unknown.

Therefore, the academe can affect the second particle through the deceptive attraction of the academe to the first particle and given the Hawthorne Effect, we can never really know how the particles will behave.

As we can see, we need to observe them closely, lest they fall into a downward spiral, eventually spinning off the test area and associating themselves with the uncontrollable variables that we had so painstakingly removed to achieve an et ceteris paribus condition.

We need to be fast for time is short and the particles are already approaching critical mass. We need to be subtle, for the observer effect states that the observer changes the behaviour of the particle being observed and it is that observation, that influence, it is that which must remain unknown to the observed.

Finally, we need to be piercing. We need to pierce the wall surrounding the particle and to communicate with it's inner workings so that given the distance of the gamma to the particle, the particle would have the "touch memory" so that the academe can achieve his goal of perfecting whatever it is he wants to perfect.

(this post must not be read like an allegory but rather as a quantum physics paper. But it is really an allegory. haha.)