Bakasyon at ang Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Ilang araw akong nawala? Mga sampung araw? Hmmm… di naman ata. Pero anyway, di ko napansin ang panahon. Sobrang busy. As in.

Dun sa sampung araw na iyon, madami akong nagawa. Nagpunta kami nung angkan naming, ang angkan ng mga Laurel, sa isang liblib na isla sa Quezon. Tanaw ko na nga yung visayas doon, kaya isipin mo nalang kung gaano kalayo ang lugar na iyon.

Ngunit sa pagbabakasyon ng aking katawan ay gumana naman ang aking isipan. Nagbakasyon nga ako dun sa islang iyon ngunit doon naman pumasok ang kung ano ano sa isip ko. Mga magagandang shots, light conditions, composition at mga stratehiya upang hindi ako mapansin para mas maganda at candid ang mga kuha ko. Tuwang tuwa ang SLR ko sa lugar. Ang ganda nung isla, puro puno at rock formations. Kung may dala akong lubid nagsimula na akong mag rock climbing. Sariwang hangin, bagong huling isda, napakaraming berdeng kung ano ano at malamig na beer. Mmm. Sarap.

Last week napatunayan ko na rin ang kapangyarihan ng mga self fulfilling prophecies. Kasi isang buwan ko nang iniisip na magkakaron ako ng PSP (hinihintay ko na nga lang yung swledo ko, pero dahil sa kapangyarihan ng self fulfilling prophecy ay napaaga ang pagbili ko nito), at sa wakes ay nakabili na din ako nung isang lingo. Marunong na nga akong mag modify ng PSP at maglagay ng PS1 na laro bago pa man ako magkaroon nung actual na unit.

Sariling pera at konting tulong mula kay ‘tay ang pinambili k okay Persephone (Oo, pinapangalana ko na gmga gamit ko, may mali ba doon?). Kaya ganon na lamang ang pagmamahal ko dito.

Kaya ito, ito ang kapangyarihan ng mga ganitong propesiya. Kapag inisip mong mangyayari, mangyayari talaga yun. Dahil dito, gumawa ulit ako ng isa pang self fulfilling prophecy: amber skinned girl you are mine mine mine! Hahaha.

(Sa mga nagbabalak nga pala na bumili ng PSP: di naman talaga portable ang PlayStation Portable dahil sa bansa nating “napakaganda” *dies* na lahat ay puede, ang pagdala sa labas ng iyong PSP mo ay maari itong maisnatch. Puede ka ring ma hold-up at ang pinakagrabe, maging rason pa ito ng iyong katapusan. Seryoso. Kaya magingat ka, PSP buyer.)

Nietzsche and Morality (Part II)

As we had discussed in the last part on our Nietzsche thingy, morality becomes the deterrent for those acts considered immoral. As morality instills fear into the minds of the people by making them fear the punishments for immorality, this makes a moral person highly accessible to fear. This fear is what preserves the subjective order in the society.

We now build around those ideas today. As morality will bring about peace in the society (make no mistake about this fact: I have nothing against morality), this will also make it’s citizens more cowardly for they are accessible to fear.

The increase of the magnitude of cowardice in society will make it’s citizens more submissive to religious threats. This is because morality mostly comes from the religious doctrines that surely each religion has. Of course, the submission of people to the religious doctrines will be good for the society if the doctrines are beneficial to it’s wellness but as religious doctrines are mostly rooted in ancient teachings which never change (or very, very resistant to change, as the Roman Catholic Church demonstrates to us), this transformation of the society to be more compliant to religion will slow the development of the society as religious doctrines promote conservatism. Surely you will notice how the majority of religions advocate simplicity and the unifications of belief. If there are no deviations from the center, that is religion, how can new discoveries in the sciences, culture and human behavior be discovered?

Nietzsche also noted that morality makes worldly punishments more effective as deterrents and thus make people unaccustomed to pain. In highly civilized peoples at his time, Nietzsche remarks that punishments become highly superfluous deterrents. The mere fear of shame is enough to leave the immoral act undone. The refinement of morality goes together with the refinement of fear.

Thus, the life of the individual is reduced to living a life the society deems acceptable and proper and even to take pleasure in nothing except those that society proclaims pleasurable.

An Afternoon with Sikatuna Yoga and Idealistic Economics

Let there be light, it was said in the beginning (at least in Christianity). This is the statement that started this day. From the comfortable depths of the darkness of my slumber came the blaze of light! Those swords of light that penetrate your eyelids, those little imps of light pushing their way into your consciousness as you are assaulted by the assorted jargon of tasks, responsibilities and deadlines to be met. I had no choice but to get up, fold my blanket and get my first caffeine fix for the day.

This mood continued throughout the mass. I was thinking deeply about the claims of Christianity, whether they are valid or not and realized that the Bible is the most powerful book in the world because of it’s secrets. A secret, being the most powerful thing in the world next to money, is abundant in the Bible that the Christians use. The Bible also draws it’s power from it’s utter indecipherability. This allows it’s interpreters to shape the meaning to their own ends, which defeats the purpose of the religion, which is truth.

After that, I went to Sikatuna village in QC with my friend Renel to go to a meditation gathering or something (I am not sure what it’s called, sorry) and to experience a taste of Hinduism. Apart from the frantic dancing and chanting, I found the experience to be less strange than taking a walk along Espana avenue haha.

After a discussion with a Yogi, which is (a monk who devotes his/her life to meditation and social works), I realized the following:

There is no perfect economic system owing to the fact that there are uncontrollable factors in the world. The system may not work for others, but the thing we must settle for is that it works for the majority of the people. If it comes to the point that the economic system does not serve the interest of the majority of the people, a major revamp of the system is required to fix the problem.

An economic system cannot be changed bit by bit (at least in my own opinion). It needs a revolution, a return to scratch and from there, construct an entirely new foundation. It is for the reason that there will surely be reproaches from those who are riding the economic waves that the system is generating. As the majority of the people are benefiting from this system, a change will surely bring about the change of living conditions for these people. Whether these changes be good or bad is beside our point, for even a change in the precarious balance of the economic forces (hey, stop me, I’m ranting off to high heaven!) will topple the whole system. This of course, is a very very unpleasant situation for both the nation’s leaders and citizens.

Probably the most profound thing that the Yogi said was about human consciousness. Human consciousness is a singular entity but it needs to be merged with what they call “Cosmic Consciousness”. This Cosmic Consciousness is the sum total of all the universe’s knowledge and this contains the past, present and the future events. This must be the akashic libraries (or at least compared, I don’t know if the akashic library is a marga concept). These Akashic libraries are supposedly the libraries in which all knowledge, either past present and future happenings, are stored. This definition if the same with the cosmic consciousness isn’t it?

He said that the human consciousness is just like a drop of water. That drop of water, by itself, is insignificant but when it merges with the ocean, it becomes something profound and becomes one with the whole.

I was contemplating on that piece of wisdom when I remembered the events of yesterday. Yes, I am the lit match and that ocean is a rolling sea of gasoline. Kinda makes sense doesn’t it?

Ugh. Just kill me.

I broke my arm once when I am in elementary, sustained two cuts in the forehead, jumped from the first floor of a building and fell headfirst into the sidewalk because I fell from my bike.

Both of my knees swelled and I had the liquid pumped from them, which resulted in my inability to walk as each step reminded me that I am not in pain, but I am pain.

I had been confined to a hospital twice and I have been desensitized to that feared needle, even those used in the operation in my knees, which I think was around 3 mm in diameter. Recently, I have developed a habit of punching the wall whenever I get upset which is, well, all the time.

I’ve been through battles, and cried a sea of tears (haha. Now that’s from The Odyssey), been through numerous heartaches and heartbreaks, been through numerous life-or-death situations, endured nerve-wracking situations which I pulled through painfully.

But nothing, nothing compares to having a tooth pulled out and having the next one shaped to receive a jacket all in the same session. That soul-deadening sound of the high speed drill as it approaches your mouth and filling your nostrils with the smell of burning enamel. That horrible feeling of your tooth being pulled out that feels like a friend, who you have been with for many years, is being forcefully pulled out from you and shakes your skull, effectively rearranging and dredging out fears of the dentist from the depths of your brain.

Nothing. Nothing compares to a toothache. But at least we have painkillers. And beer to match.

Summer jobs and Nietzsche on ganja takes on morality.

In the last few weeks of the semester, around early March, I was already thinking of applying for an on the job training so that I would not waste that much time (note the word “much”) this summer. My main motivation was the notion that some companies provide allowances and pays you for the job you do at their company. But I was really disappointed because the highest allowance I could get was P50 in a bank in Makati. That doesn’t even cover the cost of my fare going to Makati so I gave up and looked for a real job.

Fortunately, the god of work has smiled down on me. He gave me a tutor job in a place not far from my home. It pays P2500 per month with the terms that I go in thrice a week in three hour sessions so it’s not that bad considering that each session pays for P200.

I teach my student math. We started from addition and subtraction and now I am eventually weaving into multiple step operations. As the subject matter is very easy and all I have to do is to give him problems to solve and point out his mistakes, I have a lot of spare time in my tutor job. So I will take the liberty of making a short series on Nietzsche, explaining some of his ideas so that you would suddenly quote Nietzsche in the middle of a discussion (assuming that your friends are having an intellectual conversation and if that happens then I will say that you are a very, very lucky person) and impress your friends.

The paragraphs to follow are from Walter Kaufmann’s The Portable Nietzsche published by the Viking Press in 1954. This book is from Booksale for only P95. It’s quite a find, I must say.

Nietzsche on Morality, Notes, 1880 – 1881

As we all know, morality varies from culture to culture. An act that is blasphemous to a culture may be acceptable, or even normal in another culture. We can say that morality varies as we go from culture to culture because of the geographical separation and the variation of the environment of the society.

In his notes, Nietzsche gives an example – virginity. It is also worth noting that while Nietzsche wrote this almost 120 years ago, it is still applicable to our society today. Moving on, Nietzsche puts a girl who had lost her virginity in a society wherein pre-marital sex is forbidden. Naturally, the society will ridicule this girl for her act while in a society where PMS is acceptable; this girl would be left alone. Morality, being a rule by which society must adhere to, can be seen then as directed towards disobedience, not with the true and the good. The true and the good must be universal, for it deals with the welfare of the people (when I say people, I mean the world, not just those in the confines of society) which is contrary to the nature of morality, which varies from culture to culture and considered subjective.

Taking this point further, we will see that morals advocate control. They seek to control feelings, or in Nietzsche’s example: passion, through thought or the rationality of man. The passion of the individual must be controlled and must wait until that certain individual is married. The individual’s feelings then have been subdued by thought.

Morals, when broken, results in the ridicule and sometimes the casting out of the sinner from society. It is then the fear of being ridiculed and being cast out that motivates people to act within these morals

Therefore, being moral means highly accessible to fear. Fear is the power then by which the community is preserved.

Green Star di na bibiyahe ng Lawton, langya ka Lim

Nakakainis. Dahil sa panukala ni Lim, ipinagbawal na ang mga provincial buses sa pagbiyahe sa Maynila.

Papunta kaming Kalaw kanina para magpatingin ng mata (Haha. Bad pun not intended.) pero nagulat ako, Buendia LRT pa lang, pinapababa na kami ng kundoktor. Nagsisimula pa nga lang akong mahimbing sa upuan ko, yung tulog na parang tutulo ang laway mo at mapapanaginipan mo yung crush mo na tumatakbo kayo sa damuhan, hawak kamay at tuwang tuwa, pero wala. Naudlot ang tulog kong masarap at ang posibilidad nang panaginip na imposible namang mangyari sa totoong buhay. Wala.

Badtrip. Napilitan tuloy kaming sumakay ng jeep papuntang Kalaw avenue galling ng Buendia at isa lang ang masasabi ko: sobrang init. At dahil pa sa matinding trapik, nasa PGH palang kami ay nilakad na lang naming papuntang eye referral center. Malapit na nga ito sa Roxas boulevard kaya ang haba ng nilakad naming at… ugh. Sobrang init talaga. Naisip ko nga na ayoko na dito sa Pinas tuwing summer, sa sobrang init nagkakaron ka ng mga hallucinations ng pagkain (kapag gutom ka), alak (kapag hayok ka), namumula ang paningin mo (kulay dugo, kung emo ka) at sa kaso ko, magkaron ng kasama (kasi magisa ako sa buhay). Kaya hindi na ko nagtataka kung bakit karamihan sa mga relihiyon ngayon ay naitatag o naconceptualize sa disyerto. Oo. Kristiyanismo, hinduismo atbp.

Pero pauwi kanina, me narealize ako. Kung bawal na ang mga provincial buses sa Maynila, ibig sabihin nito wala nang mga Green Star (bus ito na biyaheng Pacita – Lawton) sa Park n’ Ride. Therefore, mapipilitan nga akong sumakay sa Buendia terminal ng Pacita Liner.

Going further, makikita natin na malapit ang terminal na ito sa CSB at Lasalle. At kanina, nung sumakay ako ng bus sa nasabing terminal, me mga nakita akong mga tiga FEU. Wow. Panibagong hunting grounds. As in madami, oo madaming chikas. Napakadami.

Parang di na ako makapaghintay na magpasukan na ulit. At sumakay ng sumakay sa Pacita Liner. haha.

Green Star di na bibiyahe ng Lawton, langya ka Lim

Nakakainis. Dahil sa panukala ni Lim, ipinagbawal na ang mga provincial buses sa pagbiyahe sa Maynila.

Papunta kaming Kalaw kanina para magpatingin ng mata (Haha. Bad pun not intended.) pero nagulat ako, Buendia LRT pa lang, pinapababa na kami ng kundoktor. Nagsisimula pa nga lang akong mahimbing sa upuan ko, yung tulog na parang tutulo ang laway mo at mapapanaginipan mo yung crush mo na tumatakbo kayo sa damuhan, hawak kamay at tuwang tuwa, pero wala. Naudlot ang tulog kong masarap at ang posibilidad nang panaginip na imposible namang mangyari sa totoong buhay. Wala.

Badtrip. Napilitan tuloy kaming sumakay ng jeep papuntang Kalaw avenue galling ng Buendia at isa lang ang masasabi ko: sobrang init. At dahil pa sa matinding trapik, nasa PGH palang kami ay nilakad na lang naming papuntang eye referral center. Malapit na nga ito sa Roxas boulevard kaya ang haba ng nilakad naming at… ugh. Sobrang init talaga. Naisip ko nga na ayoko na dito sa Pinas tuwing summer, sa sobrang init nagkakaron ka ng mga hallucinations ng pagkain (kapag gutom ka), alak (kapag hayok ka), namumula ang paningin mo (kulay dugo, kung emo ka) at sa kaso ko, magkaron ng kasama (kasi magisa ako sa buhay). Kaya hindi na ko nagtataka kung bakit karamihan sa mga relihiyon ngayon ay naitatag o naconceptualize sa disyerto. Oo. Kristiyanismo, hinduismo atbp.

Pero pauwi kanina, me narealize ako. Kung bawal na ang mga provincial buses sa Maynila, ibig sabihin nito wala nang mga Green Star (bus ito na biyaheng Pacita – Lawton) sa Park n’ Ride. Therefore, mapipilitan nga akong sumakay sa Buendia terminal ng Pacita Liner.

Going further, makikita natin na malapit ang terminal na ito sa CSB at Lasalle. At kanina, nung sumakay ako ng bus sa nasabing terminal, me mga nakita akong mga tiga FEU. Wow. Panibagong hunting grounds. As in madami, oo madaming chikas. Napakadami.

Parang di na ako makapaghintay na magpasukan na ulit. At sumakay ng sumakay sa Pacita Liner. haha.

Book Hunting

It was after lunch and I was looking forward to a lazy afternoon of lying catatonic in bed when an urge struck me. I gotta buy a book. I really had to get one as my book tower (the stack of unread books) was already demolished in the few weeks that have passed. So I hauled my ass off to the mall to indulge in some book hunting.

First stop: Powerbooks. I immediately went to the Philippine publication section of the store and ogled all the books here. The new Twisted 8 by the charming Jessica Zafra caught my eye. I grabbed the copy and held it tight, for it was the last copy with it’s plastic cover on and there are reports from fellow Zafra fans that finding a copy of Twisted is becoming a more and more difficult. Fortunately, I think that I am the only Zafra devotee in my 50 meter radius so my picking up of the last copy did not start any fistfights.

Next, I went to Booksale, located near the foodcourt of the mall. Sadly, there were no interesting titles here although it is worth noting that I have spotted a rare Tom Robbins book here. Damn, I still get shivers when I remember not buying that copy. This goes to show that you should grab opportunity whenever it comes along, even if you would have to walk home (as I had no money that time).

Third stop: Diplomat. Because of this, you should have noticed by now that I have no funds as I look for cheap second hand books. Well, this is a really expensive activity and I believe that money should not hinder you from doing what you really want. What difference is a brand new P650 book from a same title which is in mint condition in Booksale which costs only P95? You would say that it is the condition of the book and it is second hand, which means that it was already held by someone (Aaaaaargh! The germs!), but second hand books is really not that different from brand new books, at least for me. There is a thrill in peeling off that protective plastic from the book and smelling the paper (yes, I am a book junkie), but a serious reader will care more about what is printed on the book. But there is also some kind of communal joy in knowing that another reader had enjoyed (or repulsed) the book that you hold in your hands.

Moving on, I found a book which evoked the same feelings in me when I saw a copy of Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum marked down to a mere P95. It was The Portable Nietzsche! I imagine myself walking into the cramped little stall and the heavens opening up with the brightest of lights shining on the book. It contained the complete books of Nietzsche such as Zarathustra, Twilight of the Idols, Ecce Homo and the Antichrist. Without regard to morality and decency, I slipped past two females in a manner that I would rather not discuss (haha) and got the book. Without further hesitations, I slapped a P200 bill on the counter with the book. When the book was finally wrapped with the receipt and change handed to me, I finally caught my breath. The realization of having found a book on Nietzsche was staggering as I had some difficulty in the past finding books by Nietzsche much more finding his compiled works and very much more finding a low cost one.

Having no time to hang around and waste precious time, I parked my ass in a jeep and went back home to get started on Zafra and Nietzsche.

I am happily anticipating sleepless nights.