Decree # 8540
DECREE # 8540
As your master, I decree that you obey me at all times. You are not allowed to denounce my name in any way or to release any information that will result to my ruin.
You will also be with me at all times. This will facilitate the quick implementation of my orders.
This decree also sets the assimilation of your unlimited resources to satisfy my unlimited wants. You are not allowed, in any way, to have no money and to spend it in ways I don’t approve.
Being my most loyal slave, I order you to be a commercialized person. I require you to follow all the latest trends in fashion, wear the most expensive perfume and to act like the most loyal servant that you are. What will others say of a master that has a poor man as a slave?
I also require you to follow all the latest trends that the media advertises. You will say all the cool words they create, talk the talk of a sophisticated youth, and watch the insipid shows even if it destroys your already short attention span. I will personally supervise in your makeover, seeing that you had bastards for friends last year.
You are also required to accompany me in watching the very cool movies that I watch like the cool love stories that is the trend today. It is an unspoken agreement that you would shoulder all the expenses.
You are required to sever all the connections from your former friends. I will now introduce your true friends, and those are my friends. Your former friends are losers and they are constantly talking about things that I can’t understand. You can use all your available tactics like backstabbing, splitting up and then specifying an unknown rendezvous point and image corruption.
However, you are not allowed to speak to so-not-cool persons. They might denounce my most grand name but never believe in them for they are only jealous that I chose you to serve the most beautiful person to ever walk this earth. They are denouncing my name just to make you leave me and take your place as my Most Loyal Slave.
You are not allowed to read or watch materials that are beyond mine and my friends’ comprehension. You are not allowed to show off your knowledge, making me look like a stupid master. You are not allowed to show your skills which are surely inferior compared to your Most Majestic and Most Great Master.
There is only one loser standing in our way, his name is so disgusting that I will only refer to him as “don”. He seeks revenge because of the instances that we had hurt his poor little icky feelings. He is surely a weirdo for he was not raised up by his parents correctly. He also listens to mind numbing music for I don’t like it. I mostly prefer mymp and other pop songs but “don” wants some unknown bands. What is he up to? I can’t understand why he is so independent from us. In the beginning, I thought that he only wants to be one of our “special group” but I concluded that since he is too weird to be one of us, he should be a social outcast. He is to be banished from our place for everything about him is social suicide. Never ever be like him for he has broken every rule of our organization which is specified below:
The law of uniformity (his decisions are very different from mine!)
The law of common desires (he is very different from me!)
The Unspoken Law (he does not know this)
The law of eternal tolerance (he sparks up violently when provoked)
The law of zero remonstration (he always protests on my will)
The full wallet law (he does not have money)
The preference law (he chooses weirdoes for friends)
The cheesiness law (he does not make like, kilig moments)
The power of love law (he does not like talking about love)
The indecisiveness law (he decides by himself and for himself only)
The law of constant superiority (he is constantly beating me)
The law of standard intellectual level (he knows things I know not for this law states that if I don’t know the answer, you should not know it also)
He is surely a threat to our growing organization. Cast him out as quickly as possible and as my Slave, you must obey all the laws and regulations specified above. Destroy immediately after reading.
* scrounged from a forgotten notebook. This note was scrupulously underlined and bordered with little hearts. Who this was sent to and from whom, I can only guess... Hmmm.....
As your master, I decree that you obey me at all times. You are not allowed to denounce my name in any way or to release any information that will result to my ruin.
You will also be with me at all times. This will facilitate the quick implementation of my orders.
This decree also sets the assimilation of your unlimited resources to satisfy my unlimited wants. You are not allowed, in any way, to have no money and to spend it in ways I don’t approve.
Being my most loyal slave, I order you to be a commercialized person. I require you to follow all the latest trends in fashion, wear the most expensive perfume and to act like the most loyal servant that you are. What will others say of a master that has a poor man as a slave?
I also require you to follow all the latest trends that the media advertises. You will say all the cool words they create, talk the talk of a sophisticated youth, and watch the insipid shows even if it destroys your already short attention span. I will personally supervise in your makeover, seeing that you had bastards for friends last year.
You are also required to accompany me in watching the very cool movies that I watch like the cool love stories that is the trend today. It is an unspoken agreement that you would shoulder all the expenses.
You are required to sever all the connections from your former friends. I will now introduce your true friends, and those are my friends. Your former friends are losers and they are constantly talking about things that I can’t understand. You can use all your available tactics like backstabbing, splitting up and then specifying an unknown rendezvous point and image corruption.
However, you are not allowed to speak to so-not-cool persons. They might denounce my most grand name but never believe in them for they are only jealous that I chose you to serve the most beautiful person to ever walk this earth. They are denouncing my name just to make you leave me and take your place as my Most Loyal Slave.
You are not allowed to read or watch materials that are beyond mine and my friends’ comprehension. You are not allowed to show off your knowledge, making me look like a stupid master. You are not allowed to show your skills which are surely inferior compared to your Most Majestic and Most Great Master.
There is only one loser standing in our way, his name is so disgusting that I will only refer to him as “don”. He seeks revenge because of the instances that we had hurt his poor little icky feelings. He is surely a weirdo for he was not raised up by his parents correctly. He also listens to mind numbing music for I don’t like it. I mostly prefer mymp and other pop songs but “don” wants some unknown bands. What is he up to? I can’t understand why he is so independent from us. In the beginning, I thought that he only wants to be one of our “special group” but I concluded that since he is too weird to be one of us, he should be a social outcast. He is to be banished from our place for everything about him is social suicide. Never ever be like him for he has broken every rule of our organization which is specified below:
The law of uniformity (his decisions are very different from mine!)
The law of common desires (he is very different from me!)
The Unspoken Law (he does not know this)
The law of eternal tolerance (he sparks up violently when provoked)
The law of zero remonstration (he always protests on my will)
The full wallet law (he does not have money)
The preference law (he chooses weirdoes for friends)
The cheesiness law (he does not make like, kilig moments)
The power of love law (he does not like talking about love)
The indecisiveness law (he decides by himself and for himself only)
The law of constant superiority (he is constantly beating me)
The law of standard intellectual level (he knows things I know not for this law states that if I don’t know the answer, you should not know it also)
He is surely a threat to our growing organization. Cast him out as quickly as possible and as my Slave, you must obey all the laws and regulations specified above. Destroy immediately after reading.
* scrounged from a forgotten notebook. This note was scrupulously underlined and bordered with little hearts. Who this was sent to and from whom, I can only guess... Hmmm.....
posted by armisael at 7:36 PM
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