A month after the "Reclamation" and I still can't find it
You know, I really can't keep myself in a state of peace. There's always something that I find to trouble myself with, even if it is insignificant in nature. It seems that I must keep my life in a state of permanent turbulence, for when it stops, I can never fuel myself with emotions that stirred me when I am stressed, depressed, angry or pressured.
It must have something to do with my obsession to have a hard life because I have always believe that if you accomplished something too easily, then you must have done it wrong. It also connects with something that I had come across in a book that I had read some years back and it kinda branded itself on my mind. It stated that you wouldn't probably admire somebody if he/she had done something if it cost him/her no effort. Therefore; one mustn't look up to someone who thinks that everything is easy, for if everything is easy, why don't you go up the ladder and trouble yourself with something more difficult? That's the problem with people today, once they achieve expertise in certain fields, they stop there. In other words, they are "rutting" as Nick Joaquin so promptly named the condition.
I think this also connected with my rough hands and feet, as I tend to do everything the hard way just to save some money I think this is a disorder because I still haven't met youth in my age bracket with rough hands. I have no objection with this, I am actually thankful with this because I am perceived as a very hardworking and persistent person (which I am, by the way...) but it sometimes gets annoying when I rub my palms at class, it makes a sound like sandpaper on wood. Very distracting, I tell you.
A month after the "reclamation" and I still can't find it...
It must have something to do with my obsession to have a hard life because I have always believe that if you accomplished something too easily, then you must have done it wrong. It also connects with something that I had come across in a book that I had read some years back and it kinda branded itself on my mind. It stated that you wouldn't probably admire somebody if he/she had done something if it cost him/her no effort. Therefore; one mustn't look up to someone who thinks that everything is easy, for if everything is easy, why don't you go up the ladder and trouble yourself with something more difficult? That's the problem with people today, once they achieve expertise in certain fields, they stop there. In other words, they are "rutting" as Nick Joaquin so promptly named the condition.
I think this also connected with my rough hands and feet, as I tend to do everything the hard way just to save some money I think this is a disorder because I still haven't met youth in my age bracket with rough hands. I have no objection with this, I am actually thankful with this because I am perceived as a very hardworking and persistent person (which I am, by the way...) but it sometimes gets annoying when I rub my palms at class, it makes a sound like sandpaper on wood. Very distracting, I tell you.
A month after the "reclamation" and I still can't find it...
posted by armisael at 10:21 PM
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