Atrophy from disuse. Bastards.
We're halfway through schoolyear and yet I can't find something to trouble myself with. I keep searching, but the problem insists on lurking on some corner that I would cross.
The way the things are going right now, I feel like I'm gonna have an easy life. A very easy one. If I'm some insipid tasteless person then it would have been alright for me but I'm not. I would like some conflict in my life because I feel that my brain is already reeking stench from all the disuse I put it through. There are no hardships; everything is convenient. All is in reach and you don't have to exert some special effort to reach that goal.
Even schoolwork is average, if not, mediocre. Yes, I don't excel but that is my reaction to the university's low standards. I don't feel like studying if I can't feel the prospect of failing in the end. What's the use of excelling if you feel that the object that you have excelled in has no effort? I would prefer that I come out of the battlefield bloody and wounded, having killed a small platoon than having killed an entire army and come out of it without a single scratch. There is no development, no conflict unto which you would learn some significant lesson in your war.
Therefore, I can say that my main motivators are death, failure and desolation. These are things you can't avoid but I relish these things. I perform really well when I am threatened by these things because these things leave a lasting effect on your life and knowing these, you would do everything, even exceed, in your own power to make a way around these things.
On a different note, what's this crappy little saying that if you couldn't achieve a thing then you should at least try??? WTF you shouldn't try! You should do it! These feelgood persons never achieve anything for they always try! If I have the chance to catch them in the act of trying something that is readily achievable but for the sake of their 'will' never commit themselves to this task then I will fuse their molecules with the pavement. Maybe they will be motivated...
The way the things are going right now, I feel like I'm gonna have an easy life. A very easy one. If I'm some insipid tasteless person then it would have been alright for me but I'm not. I would like some conflict in my life because I feel that my brain is already reeking stench from all the disuse I put it through. There are no hardships; everything is convenient. All is in reach and you don't have to exert some special effort to reach that goal.
Even schoolwork is average, if not, mediocre. Yes, I don't excel but that is my reaction to the university's low standards. I don't feel like studying if I can't feel the prospect of failing in the end. What's the use of excelling if you feel that the object that you have excelled in has no effort? I would prefer that I come out of the battlefield bloody and wounded, having killed a small platoon than having killed an entire army and come out of it without a single scratch. There is no development, no conflict unto which you would learn some significant lesson in your war.
Therefore, I can say that my main motivators are death, failure and desolation. These are things you can't avoid but I relish these things. I perform really well when I am threatened by these things because these things leave a lasting effect on your life and knowing these, you would do everything, even exceed, in your own power to make a way around these things.
On a different note, what's this crappy little saying that if you couldn't achieve a thing then you should at least try??? WTF you shouldn't try! You should do it! These feelgood persons never achieve anything for they always try! If I have the chance to catch them in the act of trying something that is readily achievable but for the sake of their 'will' never commit themselves to this task then I will fuse their molecules with the pavement. Maybe they will be motivated...
posted by armisael at 1:44 PM
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