Control

Will you let mere words interfere with your feelings? How dare you. You survived that long and you will let a few words discourage you from continuing on with your life?

You may argue that the person who conceived those words into existence is one of those who are very close to your heart and likewise is in the most suitable location to inflict pain that makes you scream for alcohol and amphetamines. But past is past. Surely, after what had happened last week you took steps to insulate yourself from the pain that you will receive from trying to talk to her that you so vividly described as pounding your head to the wall repeatedly? You must move and make a NEXT (you know ladder theory, you surely know this).

Roll with the punches boy. A rigid body is easier to take down than a relaxed body that adapts to the attacker's strikes. Start from square one and plan each action as systematically and as coldly as possible like what you did almost a month ago. This is more than a game - it's a mix of politics, psychology and hunting and requires detailed scientific knowledge and all of your cunning to survive.

If you factor in your feelings too early, you will surely fail. Become the strategist you once were, and you shall achieve your end.